Day 31, 9:51am: It's only honky tonk, but I like it.

Day 31, 9:51am: It's only honky tonk, but I like it.

Money spent on clothes: $0

Money spent on a hangover latte: $4

Last night went to The White Horse "for a drink" with some girlfriends. White Horse: gritty new honky tonk on the East Side, with a sign over the bar that says "We Don't Call 911," graffiti in the bathroom that says "I hate rockabilly bitches," and an intimidating dance floor. Has anyone ever had "a" drink in a honky tonk, ever? UT is playing Wyoming this weekend and while could care less about college football, do care about dancing with some visiting Wyoming cowboys.

tiger tee / Forever 21

spike necklace / Forever 21

long black skirt / Target

turquoise rings / collected over the years

... and flip flops.

HUGE ERROR AND AM NEVER GOING TO COUNTRY DANCE WITHOUT MY COWBOY BOOTS ON EVER AGAIN.

In other news, month 1 is almost done!

Day 30, 11:46am: Peplum tops are hereby exempt.

Day 30, 11:47am: Peplum tops are hereby exempt.
Money spent on clothes: $0
Phantom Buffalo Exchange store credit money spent: $13

Earned $75 cash from Buffalo Exchange, after purchasing $13 floral peplum top. I know technically that's cheating, but almost also bought vintage orange wood faux bois printed dress after imagining myself wearing it with skinny bronze belt "to child's christening" (what?) or "back to school night." Do not have children and, oh yeah, am crazy person.

Day 30, 10:51am: Buffalo Exchange

Day 30, 10:51am: Buffalo Exchange
Money spent on clothes: $0...

Patiently waiting for my turn at Buffalo Exchange. Am literally sitting on hands to prevent shopping. Floral peplum blouse is calling to me.

Day 30, 8:44am: PANIC!

Day 30, 8:44am: PANIC!

Money spent on clothes: $0

TOTAL PANIC. Preparing to go to Buffalo Exchange and sell old clothes. Thought I'd look through winter closet (yes, in clear sign I desperately need this year long challenge, have two full size seasonal closets). Everything in there was kind of bleh. What the hell am I going to wear all winter? Plus, am down some pant sizes from last winter. Going to immediately try everything on and see what I'm working with. If leather pants and leather leggings are too big, blog is cancelled.

Day 29, 5:03pm: Filing

Day 29, 5:03pm: Filing

Money spent on clothes: Still debating if I'm going to tell the truth about that...

It's a Wednesday, but in my nursing world, it's Saturday. Organizing home office. Those magazine tear sheets aren't going to file themselves. The sound of a page being ripped out of a magazine is the soundtrack to my life.

black & white stripe tee / Old Navy

slouchy boyfriend skinny jeans / Gap outlet

bright yellow flats / Gap outlet

Day 28, 9am: Husband's Words of "Wisdom"

Day 28, 9am: Husband's Words of "Wisdom"

Well Dressed Renter, standing naked in closet after trying on clothes for 30 minutes (for fun, not to get dressed). Husband, leaving for work.

Husband: "If you're not gonna buy clothes for a year you better give these a rest. Just put on jeans and a t-shirt and go sit down somewhere."

Bless his heart, he doesn't know that trying on clothes is fun.

Day 27, 10:55am: Narcissism

Day 27, 10:55am: Narcissism

Money spent on clothes: $0

Am such a narcissist that I just clocked in 3 minutes late to work because got distracted at home reading my own blog. Polishing details in preparation of launching it to the public. Will need it to be huge success because was on final warning at work regarding late clock-in's.

Day 26, 3:44pm: Price per square foot

Day 26, 3:44pm: Price per square foot

Money spent on clothes: $0

Amount I want to spend per square foot: $200

In surprising twist, Husband spoke with mortgage broker yesterday and is now actually keen to buy. Just got home from outing with realtor, where we saw two homes we really like {both the dream homes I've been creeping past obsessively in car at 5mph}. Now more confused than ever.

Inspiration: random magazine clipping in my files, Elle Dispatch column maybe?

General Idea: army green + light purple

jersey caftan dress / Ross Dress for Less

{want to create DVF-esque empire designing and reselling this dress it is so perfect}

pashmina / Macy's

gold sandals / Old Navy

huge black bag / Forever 21

"W" necklace / anthropologie

arm party: renegade cluster bracelet / Stella & Dot

oversize watch / Stein Mart

Day 26, 9:54am: Help Yourself

Day 26, 9:54am: Help Yourself

Money spent on clothes: $0, but someone should pay me not to dress like this.

In car at drive-thru taco stand wearing pajamas. I love Sundays, but this is pushing it I know.

Day 25, 8:39pm: Dressing Fail

Day 25, 8:39pm: Dressing Fail

Money spent on clothes: $0

Am wearing mediocre outfit after 13 hours of labor and delivery triage {are you in labor? No.} Currently at stoplight en route to dinner, girl in awesome outfit just walked in front of me. Devastating. She looks like the princess of Telluride and I feel like a Real Housewife of Miami. Crushed. Summer is clearly over.

coral blouse / Francesca's

white skinny jeans / Calvin Klein at Stein Mart

wedges / Cynthia Vincent for Target

mini baby j.crew bubble necklace knockoff / Sam Moon

clutch / Samudra

arm party: renegade cluster bracelet / Stella & Dot

& oversize watch / Stein Mart

Day 25, 2:30pm: Oh geez.

Day 25, 2:30pm: Oh geez.

Money spent on clothes: $0

Oh god, more blood all over scrub pants. Might be messiest IV starter on Earth. Upside? I rarely miss. Would post picture of bloody scrubs, but not sure if that somehow violates HIPAA.

Day 24, 8:15pm: Bloody Scrubs

Day 24, 8:15pm: Bloody Scrubs

Money spent on clothes: $0

Am sitting in restaurant after work on Friday night dinner date with Husband. Just noticed there is someone else's blood on my pants. Clearly am hardest worker ever and should be gifted dream home by charitable organization. Ty from Million Dollar Makeover or whatever that show is called (Everyone Cries When They Move That Bus, maybe?), take note.

Day 23, 5pm: Fingers to the bone

Day 23, 5pm: Fingers to the bone

Money spent on clothes: $0

Another understaffed day at hospital. Agreed to work 4 extra hours of double bonus overtime until 11pm. Reached tentative agreement with Husband that we will each save 10K more before making offer on a home. Savings competition begins immediately. Coworker expressed surprise that my glove size is so small.... am literally working fingers to the bone.

Day 23, 8:30am: Stripes

Day 23, 8:30am: Stripes
Money spent on clothes: $0
Money spent on breakfast tacos: $8

Out to breakfast before work with friend. Blue & white striped dress with bright printed shoes.

blue & white striped dress / Gap
printed espadrille wedges / Target

renegade cluster bracelet / Stella&Dot

oversize watch / Stein Mart

too forlorn about real estate to even paint nails

Day 22, 11pm: Not so fast

Day 22, 11pm: Not so fast

Money spent on clothes: $0

Tears: Crocodile size

Dreams dashed. Husband and I on decidedly different pages in terms of preparedness for home ownership. Me: 0-60 in 24 hours (see: complete sketch of home remodel, furniture placement, wall colors, and imagined walk to nearby preschool). Him: "When I said 20K would be good for a down payment, I really meant at least 20K." At least we are down from his initial goal of 60K. Shudder. Remaining well dressed renter for near future. Keeping original appointment with realtor for Sunday regardless.

Day 22, 2:48pm: Bigger Closets

Day 27, 2:48pm: Bigger Closets
Money spent on clothes: $0
Money spent remodeling home in my mind: more thousands

Sketching potential remodel ideas on paper during lull in the OR at work. Will definitely need bigger closets. Outdoor shower? Knock down some walls? Husband is scared, keeps repeating "We are just looking, right? RIGHT?"

Day 22, 9:20am: Still liking it.

Day 22, 9:20am: Still liking it.
Money spent on clothes: $0
Money spent remodeling home in my mind: thousands

Drove past potential home again in the light of day. Still in love.

Day 21, 11pm: Can't Sleep

Day 21, 11pm: Can't Sleep

Remodeling dream home in my mind. Turned bedside light on to look at real estate website one more time.

Day 21, 9:30pm: Drive-by

Day 21, 9:30pm: Drive-by

Picked up by Husband at airport. Of course he immediately spotted the three shades of pashmina's in my bag. Browsed real estate listings over fish tacos at Quality Seafood. Currently driving by house-for-sale with potential. Calculating mortgage on iPhone. Emailing realtor. Can't imagine ever wanting clothes again.

Day 21, 4:06pm: Do airport pashminas count?

Day 21, 4:06pm: Do airport pashminas count?
Money spent on clothes: If yes, then $32.83 because I bought two.

Was freezing, had to do it. That's a lie. Had a yellow pashmina in my carry-on. Am going to wrap self in triple pashmina shame on plane.

Day 21, 2pm: Airport Fashion

Day 21, 2pm: Airport Fashion

Money spent on clothes: $0, but found an old pair of Marc Jacobs skinny corduroys in leopard print (yes) and a sparkly black and silver turtleneck under bed at my parents house.

Headed back to Austin after a long weekend in the Chi. Regarding airport fashion: when people look like slobs in the airport it makes me want to host a TV show where I point a laser at people to indicate GOOD/BAD or EXEMPT airport fashion. How does one develop a TV show? Andy Cohen, call me.

Inspiration: pinterest board

General Idea: white + gray + yellow + rhinestones

gray v-neck / Target

yellow cardigan / old Banana Republic

{like, from college}

white skinny jeans / Calvin Klein at Stein Mart

gold sandals / Old Navy

rhinestone necklace / j.crew

gold arm party

Day 20, 7:13pm: Twinsies!

Day 20, 7:13pm: Twinsies!
Money spent on clothes: $0

Monday night Dinner Party Denim-on-Denim twinsies. Not planned, much enjoyed. Wore same denim shirt this weekend with three different denim bottoms. In a sign I still have the shopping sickness, liked her chambray shirt better than mine. Hers, j.crew / mine, Target. Also contemplated if am allowed to receive j.crew gift cards as wedding gifts and if one must wait until next August to use them.

{Sha Sha Fierce, my j.crew personal shopper and bestie}

Maux- chambray shirt, Target / rhinestone necklace, j.crew /

trouser jeans, Target / wedges, Marshall's / sunnies, Target

Sha Sha - chambray shirt, j.crew / crop skinnies, j.crew /

flats, Madewell / sunnies, Oliver People's

Writing that out, I feel like I just learned a blog lesson. She has one nice chambray shirt, I have 6 different chambray shirts from Target.

Day 18 2:41pm: See what I mean?

Day 18, 2:41pm: See what I mean?
Money spent on clothes: $0

Do you see what I mean? Same day, different head to toe denim ensemble. Outfit photo courtesy of mom. In Dixon IL at family lake house, about to go to random Mumford & Sons concert in small town. Am hoping for Woodstock like experience and lots of great festival fashion people watching. Cautioned parents against buying drug laced baked goods from wookies in vans.

Day 18, 8:07am: The security line is my catwalk.

Day 18, 8:07am: The security line is my catwalk.

Money spent on clothes: $0

Early morning flight to Chicago. Lake house bound. Forget this blog about not buying clothes for a year, I could probably write a blog about wearing denim on denim every day for a year.

Day 16, Noon: Practically Free Pink Skirt

Day 16, Noon: Practically Free Pink Skirt
Money spent on clothes: $0

Errands are fancier in hot pink.

BCBG Max Azria skirt, originally $158 / found for $39.99 at TJ Maxx.

Have this same skirt in orange, but couldn't resist purchasing pink one in the buying free-for-all leading up to August 1st. Perhaps there is way to transition skill at finding good buys into a career shopping for others. Clarification: a well paid career?

Day 16, 8:30pm: Indian Food Date Night

Day 16, 8:30pm: Indian Food Date Night

Money spent on clothes: $0

Shopped closet to recreate j.crew catalog inspired outfit:

inspiration: j.crew fall 2012 catalog

ikat blouse / Forever 21

white skinny jeans / Calvin Klein at Stein Mart

metallic silver clutch / H&M

cream and silver flats / Elie Tahari at DSW

Day 16, 6:27pm: Sinful

Day 16, 6:27pm: Sinful
Money spent on clothes: -$43.80

Probably a sin to return anything leopard print. But as former Catholic school girl am used to sins. Moving on. Let go and let God, etc.

Day 16, 4:03pm: Just Say No

Day 16, 4:03pm: Just Say No
Money spent on clothes: -$82.77

More returns at anthropologie. Can you believe I had the willpower to peek into the Sale room only to take this picture? Just say no to the sale room. Just say NO. The rest of the store doesn't tempt me as much, as it's not really affordable.

Day 16, 3:51pm: Avert Your Eyes

Day 16, 3:51pm: Avert your eyes
Money spent on clothes: -$86.07

Returned blue Tippi to j.crew. Had to physically avert my eyes. Neon pop colors everywhere singing to me in manner of Homer's sirens. Once again encountered bug-eyed shop girls who cannot believe no shopping plan. In and out with no incidents. This is getting easier.

Day 16, 11am: Sweater Test

Day 16, 11:00am: Sweater Test

Money spent on clothes: $0

Please pause for a moment to appreciate the neuroticism that went into making these comparison photos look as identical to each other as possible. Am probably going to be imminently be offered high profile position at fashion magazine. Marie Claire, call me.

Can you tell the difference between these two sweaters?

j.crew Tippi in Celestial Blue, $80 / Target $20

Target, $20 / j.crew Tippi in black, $80

Minnie stretch twill pant / j.crew, $90

AGL flats / Nordstrom Rack, $90

{normally $298, literally jumped for joy when found them at the Rack}

Further proving neuroses, kept j.crew black one for more relaxed fit and kept Target blue one for better color. Go figure.

Day ?: Great, I'm not even sure what day it is.

Day 15-16ish, 12:40am: Great, I'm not even sure what day it is. Sitting in hospital parking lot waiting for energy to drive home.
Money spent on clothes: ha! Who has the time? $0

Last three days have been a steady rotation of scrubs-pajamas-scrubs. Why do I even own clothes?

No, am not giving peace sign in photo below. Am showing about 6cm of cervical dilation. Because I check cervixes - located inside vaginas- for a living.

Day 14: Why, Honey, Why!?

Day 14: Why, Honey, Why!?
Money spent on clothes: -$37.89

At Macy's returning oversize strapless bra purchased for wedding. Seems big enough to wear as hat. This shop lady can't believe plan either: "Why, honey, why?!" Total amount of gift cards rcvd soars to $91.58

Day 14: Is this store credit still valid in a year?

Day 14: is this store credit still valid in a year?
Money spent on clothes: -$53.64

Just returned two dresses to Forever 21. A caftan dress that doesn't make me feel like a gypsy so what's the point? And a yellow dress that doesn't make me feel like Kate Hudson in How to Lose a Guy in 21 Days, so what's the point? Cute young shop girls expressed appropriate horror at blog plan. They had to look high and low to even find a store credit gift card, that's how infrequently they are used. Shop girls are now following blog. Realized irony that shop girls would be ideal interested reader of blog, but now I am never going to meet shop girls ever again. They cheered for me as I left store physically shielding my eyes in manner of celebrity.

Day 13: Defeated

Day 13: Defeated
Money spent on clothes: $0

Double bonus pay turned out to be not exactly as promised. Defeated. Came home to vague financial argument with Husband about who's contributing what to which checking and savings account. Threw pen at his head. Turned into state-of-the-union argument regarding where to live long term- Austin vs. Chicago. Husband peacocking about contributing more to checking and savings accounts. This angers me despite its obviousness - welcome to the blog about my shopping problem. In defense, Well Dressed Renter took a huge pay cut to move to Austin, the city he insists we remain living in because he "likes the tacos." And blah blah blah he's a 7th generation Texan. Cried actual tears of missing my mom and dad. Am 30 year old married lady crying about missing her mommy and daddy.

Day 13: Double Bonus

Day 13: Double Bonus
Money spent on clothes: $0

Awakened by call from work desperate for overtime help. Am already signed up for overtime from 11am-7pm and was planning on stoically refusing to come in any earlier until heard words "double bonus" pay. All sets of scrubs were dirty but who cares? Heading into work now. Will be home owner in no time.

Day 11, 3:52pm: Wincing in actual pain

Day 11, 3:52pm: Wincing in actual pain

Money spent on clothes: who cares?

Am having serious second thoughts about not buying that turquoise necklace. That was an investment piece selling for way less than expected. Seriously contemplating returning to City Wide Garage Sale and just throwing this blog all to hell, buying necklace and resigning self to living in cardboard box rental for rest of life. Even had thoughts that I would steal that necklace in order to get around rules. Kidding. Sort of.

Day 11, 2:08: Please do not offer me a dressing room

Day 11, 2:08pm: Please do not offer me a dressing room.
Money spent on clothes: $0

Still on 2nd Street. Entered Langford Market interested in vase in window. Friend followed, unbelieving the shopping restraint she was witnessing. Old self would have spotted and instantly bought this dress. Earnest shop girls kept trying to offer dressing room. Felt I should be wearing shirt stating "Please do not offer me dressing room. Blogging, not browsing." Purpose of blog reinforced: I'm going to find it, you can buy it. Shop girls were universally shocked and horrified to hear of blog. Preparing to imminently become local fashion celebrity. Need to make business cards.

Day 11, 1:28pm: Window Shopping on 2nd St.

Day 11, 1:28pm: Window Shopping on 2nd St.
Money spent on clothes: $0

Torturing self walking down 2nd St to Jo's for lunch. Literally stopped in tracks by this striped caftan-esque dress in window of Etcetera, Etc. Austin ladies- its all yours for $150. Going to drown sorrows in tuna melt.

Day 11: 11am, City Wide Garage Sale

Day 11, 11am: City Wide Garage Sale

Money spent on clothes: $0... well, technically $10

So happy to browse the aisles of City Wide garage sale. So unhappy not to buy the most perfect $125 turquoise necklace ever seen on earth. Had to console self with one measly $10 silver necklace.

Day 10, 7:54pm: A call from Mimi

Day 10, 7:54pm: A call from Mimi

Money spent on clothes: $0

Just rcvd call from Husband's grandmother Mimi, a total fancy Southern Lady. Called to tell me she won $5 at bridge today and then went shopping at Macy's and spent $100. Big sale going on, thought I would like to know: "I saved money spending money, know what I mean honey?" Oh Mimi, I know what you mean. Broke it to her gently that I am on shopping sabbatical. Promised to come over and go swimming in her pool tomorrow.

Day 10: Keep your head down

Day 10, 4:23pm: Keep your head down.
Money spent on clothes: $0

Decided to return Cosmos Pink Rockstar skinny jeans to Old Navy in person, since was at adjacent Whole Foods, in order to avoid trip to post office drop box. Inspired by Olympics to challenge self. Literally shielded eyes with hand in manner of embarrassing ex-boyfriend public encounter to avoid temptation. Left without buying anything. Possess Olympian-like focus and commitment. Am wearing leopard print shorts. The leopard is clearly my spirit animal.

Day 10, 7:58am: Micro Finance

Day 10, 7:58am: Micro Finance
Money spent on clothes: remains $0

So proud. Imagining speech on personal micro finance that will no doubt be asked to give at the next TED conference.

Day 10: Pay Day

Day 10: Pay Day
Money spent on clothes: hopefully $0 but I'm still in bed.

Woke to email alerting me of direct deposit in bank account. Did not realize today was pay day. Seems odd since several hundred dollars remain in checking account from previous pay day. Oh my god, plan is working. Am financial guru.

Day 9: All sorted out now.

Day 9: All sorted out now

Money spent on clothes: Remains -$35 despite purchase

Decided to return Old Navy Cosmos Pink skinny jeans as well. Remembered have three other shades of pink skinny jeans. Balance soared to -$75 dollars spent on clothes today. Really would be more practical to have Army green ("Heliotrope") pair instead. Online return/exchange completed and balance remains -$35.

Worried about how to keep readers interested with so many asinine, minute details of my struggle to commit to this cause. Once everything shakes out from returns and exchanges of recent binge shopping, promise to BUY NOTHING. Will save oodles of money, write terribly fascinating blog about it all, get inevitable book deal, and use book advance to buy dream house. All money saved in old-fashioned attempt to use hard earned cash for down payment will seem quaint and charming in comparison. If only Nora Ephron were still alive to direct the resulting movie adaptation of my blog/book.

Day 9: Bright yellow skinny jean dilemma.

Day 9: Bright yellow skinny jean dilemma.

Money spent on clothes: $-35 due to refund. Am tempted.

Oh, the horrors of online shopping. Rcvd email from Old Navy regarding July 24th order of perfect shade of bright yellow ("Egg Yolk") Rockstar skinny jeans. Opened email hopefully expecting shipping tracking number. No. Am being refunded for jeans due to pre-order snafu where they no longer have my size. Now they are all sold out, and I am trapped- a prisoner in my own cage- and can no longer hunt and gather a new pair of bright yellow skinny jeans. Will have to attempt survival with only my mustard yellow ("Honeycomb") pair of Old Navy Rockstar skinny jeans.

Should probably remind readers once more that, no, this is not satire. These are my actual feelings.

Day 8: The Gauntlet

Day 8: The Gauntlet
Money spent on clothes: $0

Wanted everyone to know that when driving to/from work pass by following stores in manner of gauntlet:

- exit for Target, Nordstrom Rack, Old Navy, Gap, TJ Maxx (Austin's Arboretum)
- Marshall's and DSW (Austin's Arbor Walk)
- j.crew, Forever 21, anthropologie, Zara, Free People, Macy's (Austin's Domain mall)

Should find dream house and drive past that every day instead.

Day 7: Atonement

Day 7: Atonement

Money spent on clothes: $0

Heading into work for 6 hours of overtime to atone for sins of yesterday. Working for pregnant coworker/friend who is going to meet husband at airport as he returns from being deployed. Am wonderful, patriotic citizen.

Day 6, 5:30pm: The Devil might Also Wear Polka Dots.

Day 6, 5:30pm: The Devil Might Also Wear Polka Dots

Money spent on clothes: $50... but...

God damn it, I also really like this polka dot one. Oh well. Will resign self to never looking as fabulous as Blair from Atlantic-Pacific and just go die.

Day 6, 4pm: The devil wears leopard print.

Day 6, 4pm: The Devil Wears Leopard Print.

Money spent on clothes: $50

Next errand: Old Navy. Previously bought athletic bikini- for upcoming future hobby of athletic swimming - only to find that medium sized top is too small. Or will be too small if boobs grow anymore, and since planning on being adorable pregnant swimmer someday, would only be prudent to have a larger size on hand.

Also, have recently purchased inspiring neon melon and purple workout outfit. Bottoms are too large, so will need to exchange for smaller size. Boobs getting bigger, butt getting smaller. Great problems to have. However, mission turned impossible when discovered those sizes are no longer in stock.

Despite intentions to leave store immediately, all of a sudden found self holding Heart sweater.

Clearly was meant to own heart sweater. All of a sudden was trying on sweater over clothes in middle of store, turned around looking for a mirror and saw... this leopard print blouse.

Have met nemesis and Achilles heel - leopard print. Purchased them both.

Shame. But also secretive, thrilling joy. Am possibly true shopping addict. Even considered not admitting this on blog, but thought that would set dangerous precedence, what with only being 6 days in and all. On drive home decided really just can't go into these stores at all. Will rationalize self into buying anything. Clothing retail chains should probably run studies on me. Feel like character in relapse themed episode of Intervention. Have renewed compassion for father who is trying to quit smoking. Husband will have to chaperone all other returns. Am a weak, fashionable person.

Day 6, 3pm: A saint on earth.

Day 6, 3pm: A saint on earth.
Money spent on clothes today: $0

Making up the rules as I go along. Tried on all newly purchased recent clothes this afternoon. Need to return black and grey v-neck tshirts to Target. Purchased in size extra small. Breasts are back from pre-wedding chicken cutlet shrinkage. Pretty bold to have blithely purchased extra small anything. Need to go exchange them for different size. Have decided this is allowed.

The Rules:

- Allowed to exchange clothes purchased before August 1st if size change needed. Am only being practical.
- If straight return, must deny store credit and refund to debit or credit card.
- If gift card / store credit must be issued (ahem, Forever 21) must save for next year. Maybe will use for holiday gifts. Am always thinking of others.

Treaded slowly into clothing section to look for appropriately sized tshirts. Found them. Tried to make quick getaway but saw this sweater, $23:

Flashed through mind:

{Heart Me sweater from j.crew, $88 / worn by Krsytal from This Time Tomorrow}

So cute. With the willpower of a saint on earth put it down and walked away. It was in my hands, it even hung on the side of the cart. Willpower is amazing. Am above trendy graphic print sweaters anyway.

Day 6: Five bedrooms, you say?

Day 6, 12:25pm: Five bedrooms, you say?

Money spent on clothes: $0

Video chatting with best friend, who expresses horror at prospect of upcoming girls weekend without shopping. Confidently declare nerves of steel and promise not to ruin weekend. Will still be able to go shopping, but with willpower not to buy. Will only pick out things for best friends to try on and buy. Think of me as benevolent aunt or personal stylist.

It is easy to project confidence in plan when can see yawning echo of her new 5 five bedroom home stretching out behind her during video chat.

Additionally, she is pregnant and thus taking a year long sabbatical from drinking. I'm not peer pressuring her into drinking, am I? I am not scoffing at her sobriety. No, am supportive and encouraging and apologetic when forced to get drunk in front of her.

Day 6: This is not fun anymore.

Day 6, 10:15am: This is not fun anymore.

Money spent on clothes: $0

I knew it. I knew it. I knew it.

Knew this would happen: would find something have always wanted to buy (j.crew bubble necklace, $150) for cheap and not be able to buy it, despite fact that buying it at grab-me-now-just-get-one-in-all-colors prices would save money in the long run.

Truly depressed and pouting about this. These are $14 knock off's on eBay, discovered just now on pinterest:

Oh, go ahead. Order one (or five) for yourself, but so help me if I am ever around when you get compliments from strangers on it. Will rip it off your neck. Beads will fly. $14, eBay HERE IS THE LINK.

May have to give up pinterest morning coffee session if continues to be this upsetting.

Day 5: Renewed commitment to the cause.

Day 5: Renewed commitment to the cause.

Money spent on clothes: $0

On bike ride with Husband to retrieve truck left behind drunkenly on other side of town last night at Bounce House Slip and Slide birthday party for friend. Pedaling through gorgeous tree lined neighborhoods selecting favorite house on each block. Imagining perfect life that will inevitably result from home ownership. Renewed commitment to the cause, must save large quantities of money. Will work overtime at work whenever possible and live pauper-like yet chic existence.

Day 4: Summer Uniform

Day 4, 10am: Summer Uniform

Money spent on clothes: $0

Realized have spent all summer wearing Mexican peasant dresses and oversize fedoras. Need nothing, will live simple life.

Day 3: Didn't take long to find loop hole.

Day 3, 6:18pm: Loop Hole Alert

Money spent on clothes: $0

Caftans spotted on pinterest:

Momentary grief as do not yet have perfect caftan that can be worn in company of others besides Husband. So hard to find perfect caftan that hits line between sexy Venice Beach dinner party and I got this on study abroad in Kenya. Thought to self, could probably sew a caftan. SEWING! Could turn this into little-house-on-prairie experiment and allow self new clothes if I sew them myself. Could end up tragic pity case though, as am currently not good at sewing. However, could also turn into thriving caftan business.

Day 3: This ain't so bad

Day 3, 10am: This ain't so bad.

Money spent on clothes: $0

Met with protests last night from 5 fashionable Book Club friends. Total astonishment that I would attempt this experiment. Unilateral predictions of failure. Implored to attempt 6 months, not a year.

Barrage of questioning to determine loop holes:
- What about bras and underwear? No, just bought lots for wedding and honeymoon.

- Running shoes? Yes, I will probably need a new pair of those. But that falls under the umbrella of health care, right?

- Can you receive clothing as a gift? Hmmm, hadn't thought of that. Mental note to ask for Frye boots for Christmas gift from parents.

- Jewelry or Accessories? I better not. Slippery slope.

Thinking they had found the master trump card: Maternity clothes? Hmm...

Finally soothed them with statement that will be happy if at least save $10K. If run into problem in winter with corduroys falling off my weight loss frame, I might be forced into buying new winter pants. Love having newlywed skinny girl problems for once.

Brandi was wearing especially cute dress. From where? Target. When? Recently. Funny, never saw it during thrice weekly trips to Target in last month. She goes to secret ghetto Target, I go to fancy Target. Slow inhalation and exhalation. Am peaceful and cannot be tempted. Am on a quest.

Day 2, 8pm: Trying out for the squad

Day 2, 8pm: Trying out for the squad
Money spent on clothes: $0

Dinner after work at El Naranjo on Rainey Street with girls from book club. Always fun to dress to impress with this crowd. Took forever to find something to wear with this navy & white striped skirt. Tags are still on and it might get returned. This outing is its audition to join wardrobe closet squad. Probably just scandalized friends who work in retail with that comment.

neon necklace / Ann Taylor

{yes, Ann Taylor. still available in orange}

purple blouse tank / Old Navy

striped skirt / Marshall's

wedges / Marshall's

Day Two: Steady Calm Prevails

Day 2, 9:49am: Steady calm prevails.

Money spent on clothes: $0

As mentioned, spent yesterday wearing sweaty workout clothes from 8am until 8pm (very unlike me- normally I get all dressed up with nowhere to go but the grocery store. Also gross from hygiene standpoint, but in the nature of full disclosure I must tell all). After shower watched episodes of Homeland: Season One in robe, then slept naked. Currently at work wearing scrubs. See, have no need for all these clothes anyway. Year will be easy. When frustrated with lack of cute new clothes to wear, will just stay home and watch tv naked or go to work and make money.

Day 1: Like shopping, but free.

Day 1, 7:30pm: Like shopping, but free

Money spent on clothes: $0

Came home to find sweaty Husband cleaning the garage. In effort to help, loaded our Goodwill donation pile (entire sprawling corner of garage) into back of car. Had no choice but to move giveaway clothes from tupperware bins to garbage bags for dop-ff. Moved quickly to avoid eye contact with castoff items. It's over between us. Nevertheless, pulled several items to try on one last time. Was like shopping, but free. Survived day one.

Day 1: Today is THE DAY

Day One, 3pm: Today is THE DAY

Money spent on clothes : $0

This is it, there is no more avoiding it now. Oh well, no gray New Balance running shoes for not running or royal blue all-season wedges for me. Spent all day in workout clothes after 8am workout class. Who needs cute clothes when you are a disgusting slob? Organized home office in preparation of productivity boom without distraction of nonstop shopping. Went to Target at 5pm for some organizational bins to complete project. Risky, self-destrucive behavior. Felt like contestant on Intervention.

Steered cart immediately to other side of store away from clothing. Felt saintly and good.